Mentium
by Audi Canticum
Summary: Relaxation was an activity for the weak and the hesitant. Yamanaka Chisei resolved to be neither. Shattered bodies and shattered minds would be his legacy. [Semi-Si OC]
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

It was apparent, from the very beginning of my second life, that I was abnormal.

My eyes revealed too much for an infant. They gleamed with intelligence beyond their years and often, alarming amounts of panic. I struggled with understanding the new world that I had found myself in. The unfamiliar language, sights, and smells of this foreign place both frightened and intrigued me.

But I was particularly suited for learning. The plastic nature of this new mind, coupled with being entirely immersed in a new culture allowed me to adapt to said culture reasonably well.

And it was in such a manner that I learned, among other things, my own name.

 _Yamanaka Chisei._

I was so boned.

* * *

In all fairness, my life wasn't so bad. Life in most clans in Konoha was relatively cushy. The Yamanaka weren't the strength-obsessed Uchiha, nor the overly formal Hyuuga, after all.

The first year or so of my life was spent in idyllic bliss. There was nothing that I was required or expected to do. The earlier unusual intelligence that I had displayed had been noted, but quickly dismissed as I comfortably settled into the role of a more or less normal infant. My apparent intellect had never truly been forgotten, but it no longer took the forefront of people's minds when they thought of me.

I allowed my parents and my elder sister to pamper me. I slept for most of the day, spending my waking hours listening and following my family members' readings of various children's books. Learning the written language would be important, and thankfully, it was relatively easy for this mind.

I knew in the back of my mind that, at some point, I would be expected to become a shinobi as a member of the Yamanaka clan. I would perhaps even gain the clan's signature collection of mindwalking jutsu.

But for now, I was but a small child. I allowed myself to play, to laugh, and to relax.

Within the comfortable walls of the Yamanaka clan compound, surrounded by the blooming flowers, I was safe, and I was happy.

 _Was,_ being the operative word there.

The Kyuubi made its romp through the village when I was just a year old.

I was carried into one of the crowded shelters in the village. The solid walls of the shelter shielded us for the most part from the devastation the the Kyuubi caused.

But the walls, no matter how thick, did not block out the vile, powerful chakra that the rampaging beast emitted.

Nor did they help dull the fear that I felt, fear for both myself and my father, who was out aiding the defense against the Kyuubi.

My sister rocked me in her arms, trying to calm me down, while at the same time, struggling to keep her own composure. My mother, like most of the others in the shelter, fidgeted nervously under the heavy and oppressive chakra that permeated the air.

The three of us spent that terrifying night huddled in that crowded shelter.

And when the all clear signal was sounded, we, like all the others shoved into the far too small shelter, silently filed out. We all knew that there were heavy losses. We all knew that many of our loved ones had likely died. We all knew that the village would be badly crippled.

But we also all knew that Konoha would rebuild. The village would heal.

* * *

The losses were worse than anyone had ever imagined at first. Konoha was decimated.

The Yamanaka clan compound felt less full than it did before. As every active ninja was sent on a mission, and even retired ninja had been given requests to temporarily rejoin the forces. Konoha couldn't be seen as weak, or else other villages would start getting ideas.

Thankfully, the Yamanaka had one of the lowest casualty counts of all of the clans. The Yamanaka's mindwalking jutsu made most of them much better suited for Konoha's Intelligence Division rather than the standard forces.

It made _most_ of them better suited for the Intelligence Division.

Not every Yamanaka learned the various mindwalking jutsu. They were dangerous jutsu, and many either didn't qualify, or didn't want to burden themselves with such an important role. Even many of the ones that did know the jutsu still chose to be on the front lines.

My father was one of them.

So, he was sent out to counter the Kyuubi.

And he died.

It was a fact of life. It was the fate of nearly every serving ninja to die young. My father was one of the lucky ones actually, surviving into his mid-thirties. A good portion of ninja don't even make it that far.

Life went on without him.

But it wasn't quite the same. I was slightly disappointed that he died, but I wasn't very affected personally. The rest of my family though, was in mourning. I was still pampered, but it was clear that to my family, it was more of a chore than anything.

A family was supposed to look after its own, no? Where did all the love go?

Perhaps it had died with my father.

Which was fine by me. I had enjoyed being babied earlier, but if this experience had taught me anything, it was that humans were fragile, fragile things. They could be broken by the cut of a kunai, the blast of a jutsu, or, in this case, the swipe of a tail.

I _refused_ to be fragile.

My resolve had hardened in my mind. I would become a shinobi, and a _damn_ good one. I would not be killed so easily. I told myself that my daily life would no longer be one of relaxation, but rather one of furious training as I pushed to obtain S-Rank.

And so I thanked my father for his example. Death was what happened when one was weak. My father was weak, and he died. It was as simple as that.

And I _refused_ to be weak.


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

I stared at the target board. All of my kunai and shuriken had at least _hit_ the target, which I suppose was a good thing. It was certainly an improvement from before. But the weapons that I had thrown had only hit the target about halfway from the centre. It was… okay, I suppose. Most children my age hadn't even _begun_ to train yet.

But accurate-ish was weak. I was _weak_ and I would die.

It was insufficient.

The other things that I trained with were taijutsu, chakra control, and sensing. Ninjutsu was out, as the small, child-sized chakra reserves that I had at the moment were insufficient for performing most jutsu

Taijutsu was going much the same as shurikenjutsu had been going. My physical fighting was okay- good, even, for my age, but it was still insufficient. I was not satisfied with how my training with both taijutsu and shurikenjutsu had been going.

One of the only places where I excelled was in chakra control. I took to chakra control exercises very quickly. Leaf sticking and tree walking were already accomplished. Water walking proved to be slightly more difficult than the other two, but it was coming along nicely. I would have to make up some new chakra control exercises at this rate.

Sensing was another area that I felt that I was somewhat skilled in. Most ninja of the Yamanaka clan were classified as sensor-nin, as the majority of us were sensitive to chakra to some degree. I was happy to say that my chakra sensing abilities were just fine, even if they only produced vague shadows at this point.

It was unfortunate that sensing and high levels of chakra control would not help me very much in the Academy. Sensing could perhaps aid me in taijutsu spars, being able to see what all of my opponents were doing without even looking. But it would only be applicable if I could get it to a level where I could, first of all, see things with that much accuracy, and second of all, get my sensing skill to the point where I could do it passively, without having to concentrate for long periods of time.

Chakra control, similarly, wouldn't aid me in the Academy. The only jutsu learned in the Academy were the basic three, which I was confident I could do with my current level of chakra control. That was really all you needed in terms of jutsu, so while chakra control would undoubtedly help me in the field, it was not useful at the moment, or even in the near future.

I had pried all of the techniques that I was practising off of various ninja from the clan using a combination of begging and whining. Not that there was a very large difference between the two. After obtaining them, I had thrown myself into practise with vigour. Clearly, it didn't make that much of a difference.

I would have to try harder.

The sun was just beginning to set, and my body had long since begun to tire. But I refused to leave the training field just yet.

There was still more training to be done.

I would return home well past midnight.

* * *

This cycle of near obsessive training continued for quite some time. Even with the added vitality that chakra appeared to grant, I began to grow tired. My exhaustion was very apparent. Dark circles that should never be present on a child's face appeared on mine. I took any and all opportunities to cram in extra time to sleep.

Intense, pupiless yellow eyes blinked lethargically in the mirror.

They narrowed and hardened.

I would not stop. I would not rest, even for a single day.

Weakness was a _disease._ One that had to be _terminated._

The only way to be rid of such a disease was to train until one was strong. Strength meant that one would survive. Strength was everything, and weakness was nothing.

I walked out to the kitchen to prepare some tea. I prepared tea less for the taste and more for the energising effects. The caffeine content of tea, or at least the particular variety of tea that I was drinking at the moment, was rather low. However, my younger brain was more sensitive to the stimulating effects of the tea.

As a child, intaking too much caffeine was unhealthy. However, the low caffeine content of tea to begin with, coupled with my low consumption of it made it more or less okay.

I sipped from my cup, feeling the hot liquid run down my throat.

I opened the door and stepped into the cool night.

Training Ground Thirty-two would serve well tonight, I think.

* * *

I paused in my throwing of weapons, just for a second, to marvel at my accomplishment.

A kunai was buried dead in the centre of the target board.

 _Bullseye._

This was the first bullseye that I had ever hit on _any_ target. Over the last few weeks of training, my weapons had found themselves closer and closer to the middle of the board.

My labour had borne fruit.

But the distance between the spot from which I was throwing weapons and the target was rather meagre. It was hardly a fraction of the distance that I would eventually be expected to throw from. And the target was a static one. Moving targets would be far more difficult to hit.

But it was progress, and it was _visible_ progress.

I stepped backwards a sizable distance and threw another kunai.

The increased distance resulted in an increased level of difficulty, and I watched as the shard of metal failed to even glance the target.

Scowling, a tried again.

And again.

 _And again._

* * *

"Chisei, how about you… tone it down… with the training? Please?"

"Hm?," I drowsily raised my head from my arms, blinking sluggishly.

"I asked if you could… well, take it easy?"

Ah. I knew where this was coming from. As a Yamanaka, I interacted with the Nara and Akimichi clan often at joint gatherings.

Even though I attended those gatherings physically, I wasn't exactly invested in them. I chose to try to squeeze some extra sleep in instead. If I were a Nara, this sort of behaviour would be easily dismissed, but I wasn't.

Sleeping during joint gatherings, coupled with my generally exhausted appearance made some people suspicious. Suspicious to the point where people began to question if I had some sort of issue, or if I was being treated well. That sort of thing.

I gave a weary, plain smile, "Sure, mother."

Perhaps I would only stay out a hour after midnight.

…

One and a half.

…

Okay, _two,_ and that's it.

* * *

 _Guest: I'm surprised that people actually look into the titles. Cookies to you! 'Mentium' is the genitive plural form of the Latin word 'mens,' which means mind or intellect. Therefore, 'mentium' means 'of the minds.' I didn't actually know that mentium was a gun mod, so sorry for any confusion_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

There was some boisterous chatter between children as we lined in neat rows for the Academy's traditional entrance ceremony.

There was a rather large difference in the amount of noise that the children were making. There were some cocky ones that were making nearly all the noise. And then there were the rest of them, who were either engaged in quiet, whispered conversation, or were standing unnaturally still, avoiding eye contact with any other children.

The Hokage arrived to deliver his speech to the children. He was a slightly shorter than average old guy with a funny robe.

And he was the most powerful person I've ever seen.

The air that he gave off wasn't the sort of oppressive power that the Kyuubi had. But the Hokage's spoke of battles won and something distinctly more… majestic, I suppose. It was hard to put into words.

But then he opened his mouth.

It was almost horrific how much blatant pro-Leaf propaganda that he was spewing out.

Disgusting.

I refuse to be chained down like this.

* * *

I heard my first rumour of Uchiha Itachi today. The prodigal son of the Uchiha clan head. The shining example of what all young ninja should be.

People tended to get excited with child prodigies. News of them spread quickly, and it wasn't a surprise for villages to get more missions when a talented young ninja rolls around. People wanted to see what they could do, sometimes even going as far as to request specifically for the kid.

They often didn't disappoint.

And with the news of Itachi's talent, came much in the way of rumours. Adult ninja were impressed with the speed at which Itachi was accumulating skill. Children were either jealous or in awe of Itachi's apparent strength.

And I was motivated to become stronger than ever.

I was not naturally skilled like Itachi was. I needed to train, and I needed to train quite a bit. Therefore, I had taken advantage of every single moment, even more so than I was doing. I was training long into the night, but I needed to work smarter. I needed to find a way to accumulate more skill in a shorter span of time.

The effects of training long past midnight have taken their toll on me. Training out in the fields for so long has made me exhausted, which meant that I couldn't train as effectively anymore. I needed to find a balance between sleep, training, and everything else to maximise efficiency.

My skills have plateaued somewhat, but I was already proficient enough in every area that I needed to pass the Academy.

But 'proficient' was not 'Itachi level.'

So I had to weigh my options. How could I get the most progress out of the least training? That was the question.

I had a few options. The first of which being learning the Yamanaka clan jutsu.

I received a bit of insight through the years as to how the Yamanaka clan jutsu were learned. The advanced things like reading and modifying memories were locked behind years of training and a prestigious rank. They also required one to be mindwalked themselves. An unstable shinobi couldn't be allowed to walk away with such dangerous jutsu.

Additionally, learning such jutsu made one too valuable an asset for the village to lose in common warfare, which meant that when one learned them, they were confined to an interrogation job within the village. Which was _okay_ , just not something that aligned with my goal of being strong.

Though the higher-tier Yamanaka jutsu were locked behind at _least_ the chunin rank and required one to be mindwalked– Kami knows I won't let _that_ happen– some of the lower-tiered ones were available to virtually all Yamanaka.

For example, the Mind Body Switch jutsu was one that all Yamanaka genin were allowed to learn.

Not only was it relatively easy to learn, being a C-Rank, and the amount of damage one could cause was rather small.

It was a powerful jutsu for certain, but it could be overpowered by a ninja with a strong enough will, so a genin couldn't just possess the Hokage and go nuts. In fact, literally anyone could overpower the jutsu given enough time. The mind's natural rejection of the foreign chakra put stress on the jutsu, and it eventually would force the Yamanaka's mind to return back to their own body.

The length of time that the jutsu could be sustained, even on civilians, was rather short, especially for the unexperienced genins who were learning the jutsu. The fact that the user's body was helpless while the jutsu was being channelled also limited its utility, and therefore, its potential for damage.

Not only that, but any damage that the host body sustained would be transferred over to the user's body while the mind link was active, so forcing someone to commit suicide or whatever was hardly an option.

There was a reason that the Mind Body Switch was the signature jutsu of the Yamanaka clan. Almost all Yamanaka ninja learned the Mind Body Switch when they became genin.

 _When they became genin._

Becoming a genin was too long of a wait for me. I would learn it later, but I wanted power _now._

The only other option that I could think of was drilling the things that I already knew. Drilling them _relentlessly._

That approach to training had been tried. It was tedious, and without a teacher to coordinate my training, my progress had nearly reached a standstill. I was reluctant to talk to my mother about a tutor, given the fact that she was already receiving flak for my obvious state of exhaustion.

But drilling everything into near ridiculousness appeared to be my only option at this point.

So that was exactly what I did.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

"Why do you sleep so much?"

My head rose, and my eyes blearily focused on the person speaking, an Akimichi boy who was around my age. Perhaps a bit older.

I had tried to cut back on training, as too much training was almost paradoxically limiting my training. Instead of continuously training, I read books and studied to give my body a rest.

So, while I wasn't perpetually exhausted anymore, it was still good to grab as much sleep as possible. And, now it was almost a habit to sleep whenever I could.

"Seriously, you're like a Nara."

The loud combination of music and conversation grated on my ears and I winced.

I disliked combined clan gatherings. They were loud, miserable, and, most importantly, cut into time that I could be either studying or training. The noisiness of the gatherings made it nearly impossible to focus on books while I was there, and I disliked talking with people.

But I couldn't just skip them.

Combined clan gatherings were a monthly occasion, and they were mandatory for all members who didn't have some pressing concern, like a mission or whatever.

Apparently, training that would _literally save my life_ later down the line wasn't considered a 'pressing concern.'

'... and… are you even listening?"

I blinked sluggishly and yawned, "Sorry. Tired. And distracted."

I wished that this kid would just go away, but telling him to do so would undoubtedly upset him. I could picture the scenario in my mind. He'd go to his parents, and his parents would go to _my_ parents, er, _parent._ Singular parent. Then my mother would nag and I would look at her with indifference. Then, my sister would try to reason with me, and I'd give her a the same bland look. Then, I'd try to edge out of the room, only for…

In short, it would be a huge pain in the ass.

"Oh. What are you doing so much that makes you so tired?"

"Training."

"Training?" The Akimichi boy looked at me incredulously, "Why would you ever do that?"

I gave him a blank stare.

The Akimichi boy was quick to cover things up, "I mean, not that training is _bad_ or anything. Training is important and stuff, but why would you train to the point where you're tired all the time?"

"Because otherwise, I will die."

The boy's eyes widened, "Die! How're you gonna _die_ if you don't train?"

"No training means no strength. No strength means weakness. Weakness is a sickness. Sickness will kill me. So I will die."

I idly watched the Akimichi boy. He clearly thought something was very _very_ wrong about my logic. Probably because there truly _was_ something very _very_ wrong. But he just couldn't put a finger on what exactly was wrong about it.

"That doesn't make any sense!"

Ah. A child's default counter to any argument.

For the first time in a while, a smile appeared on my face. It was a cold smile, lacking any real emotion, and it was making the boy very uncomfortable.

But it was a smile nonetheless.

"It doesn't have to make sense. Train. Stay alive. Do what you are told. Do what you are told until _you_ are the one telling _others_ what to do. That is the philosophy by which the strong live."

The child looked as though he wanted to protest again. The explanation that I had given him was perhaps even less comprehensible than the original one.

And my smile became sour.

"Unfortunately, I don't want to be just strong."

The child looked at me, still just very much confused.

"I want to be _invincible._ I want to be a _legend_."

* * *

"Yamanaka Chisei?" The Academy instructor called out attendance.

"Present," I said, raising a hand.

Our instructor, Sato Daizou, continued with attendance. The man had a slightly strict air to him. Those were the sorts of teachers that I liked. They were strict enough to keep order in the classroom but not strict to the point that they felt like a dictator.

The few classes that I had had with him so far had painted him as that sort of teacher in my mind. I liked the guy, and he was a good teacher.

Unfortunately, however, he was entirely useless to me.

It was rather evident that, at least on the Academic end of things, there was nothing that I would learn here. I had already studied everything, in much more detail, back in the Yamanaka clan library.

I was hoping that the shurikenjutsu and taijutsu portions of the Academy training would be somewhat worthwhile, but I wasn't exactly holding onto very much hope.

* * *

Each of my thrown kunai and shuriken hit the target boards exactly in the centre. The Academy teachers had just started their shurikenjutsu lessons, and the results of my training were becoming rather apparent.

I was so much better than these children that it was almost hilarious.

No. Scratch that.

It _was_ hilarious.

But it was also expected. These children were undisciplined. The blunt practise weapons that they held clumsily looked so out of place in their small, chubby hands that it made me laugh internally. I was immediately sobered by the thought that training with this sort of weaponry was actually _required_ for them to survive in the future.

This was a violence filled world.

I was immediately reminded of what I had told that Akimichi kid just yesterday at the clan gathering.

 _Train. Stay alive. Do what you are told. Do what you are told until_ you _are the one telling_ others _what to do. That is the philosophy by which the strong live._

But…

That wasn't quite true.

It didn't have to be like that. Though this world was full of violence and hate and rivalries that stained the ground red, it _didn't have to be like that._ This world needed revolution. Things could not remain as they were. Children shouldn't have to become soldiers.

The shinobi world needed change. It needed someone, or a _group_ of someones to be that change.

…

But I would not be that someone.

It was easy to _say_ that you would accomplish change. It was easy to talk about morals and ideas of peace. It was easy to convince yourself that you would bring a revolution.

It was easy to _say_ that you would be good.

But it was much harder to actually go through with whatever you thought of. It was easy to _say._ It was much harder to _be._

But some things were comparatively easy to be. For example, I told myself that I would be strong. And here I am, taking some of my first steps to becoming strong.

But bringing change, bringing _peace._

That was something _much_ harder to do. The system by which the entire world _functioned_ would need to be entirely overhauled. Massive tidal waves of change would need to be made; I didn't even know where to start with something like that.

So I wouldn't.

I wouldn't even start.

I wouldn't even try.

There were others who would bring change. Change and peace were Naruto's job. They were things that he would eventually establish, sort of.

I personally didn't care.

Sure, things didn't have to be like they were, but I had already settled into my role. I would not be known for anything other than crushing strength. Naruto could be recognised as the Saviour of This World or whatever, but I resolved to be recognised as _strong._

 _No training means no strength. No strength means weakness. Weakness is a sickness. Sickness will kill me. So I will die._

I didn't need peace. I needed strength.


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

I looked over at the order that the customer had sent once again, comparing it to the bouquet that I had prepared.

Yeah…

Probably good enough?

I would say that I had a pretty good knowledge of flower arranging and whatnot. I worked sometimes at the flower shop, both as a way to earn some pocket cash when I wasn't training, and to stop myself from burning myself out on the fields.

Not to say that I _wasn't_ training while working in the shop. I usually carried a small rock or whatever to practise chakra control on. By moving around a spot of chakra, you could get the rock to roll around over your skin, which may or may not be useful later for sleight of hand tricks in battle.

Anyways, I worked sometimes at the flower shop, and I can safely say that I have a newfound respect for retail jobs.

Dear _god,_ some of these customers were annoying as _fuck._

I suppose it was good practice. In the future, when I would be taking missions, I would have to interact with clients, many of whom I will rather dislike. It was best that I learn to deal with annoying customers now than later.

"Chisei-nii!"

Speaking of annoyances…

"Chisei-nii! Chisei-nii! I know you can hear me! Come on!"

Yamanaka Ino.

Are _all_ children this annoying?

"Look, look! Don't these hyacinths look- hey! You're not _looooking!_ "

Honestly, how do parents put up with this shit on a regular basis?

I gave her a strained smile, "Ino, I'm _working_ right now."

Somehow, this blonde devil became attached to me. I have absolutely _no idea_ how that happened. I have no direct familial relation to her, I've hardly paid her much mind, and have only spoken a little.

Children are weird.

Ino pouted at me.

* * *

Joint clan gathering again. I ate and then found a spot to settle down and sleep through the rest of it at.

"Hey, you're not dead yet, yeah?"

This kid again. I haven't seen the Akimichi kid that I talked to for a while now.

But here he was again, disrupting my sleep.

He grinned at what was undoubtedly a disgruntled expression on my face.

"I thought about what you said. You know, the stuff about being strong and training and dying and stuff."

I laid my head back onto my arms, making an attempt to block out the uncomfortable loudness of the place.

"The thing is, I don't think that's true."

Oh? I gave the child a bit of my attention, turning my head to face him. I wasn't expecting actual thought from a child of his age.

I waited for whatever he was going to say.

Perhaps there was more that I wasn't seeing. Perhaps this child, with his untainted mind, had seen something that I hadn't.

I had given another path much thought. After collapsing, absolutely exhausted one too many times on the training fields, I had thought that maybe, just _maybe,_ I didn't need to push myself so hard. Maybe I could take a day of rest.

Maybe I could relax, just once.

But then, I thought of the monsters that roamed this world. The monsters that hid in human shells. The monsters that stood above the rest of us. Nagato, Orochimaru, Obito, hell, even the Hokage.

I thought of them, and any thoughts of taking it easy were wiped from my mind.

But perhaps this child, had seen something. Maybe he had had some insight as to how the world worked.

"There're like, civilians and stuff, right? They're weak, and they're not dead, right? So even if you don't train, you won't _die._ " The Akimichi boy seemed very proud of his logic.

…

I suppose it was my fault for expecting something profound out of a _child._

I didn't have the heart to tell him that the civilians were only lambs, only easy targets for the strong. They had no power in this world of violence. People like Nagato could wipe out hundreds, thousands of them without even getting up off their ass.

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

I stared impassively at the dead squirrel. It laid, pinned there on the ground by a kunai, coating the grass in blood.

I had heard the squirrel rustling around in the forest as I was training. I had acted on reflex upon hearing the sudden noise, throwing my kunai in the general direction of the sounds.

 _Bullseye_

And the small animal's life ended.

Just like that.

Despite the unfortunate death, a wry smile found its way onto my face.

It was a beautiful kunai throw. It displayed the things that I had worked towards and the things that I would be working for in the future.

Perhaps this was a taste of what I would have to go through later. My future career involved much death.

Still, the event left a bitter taste in my mouth. It seemed… wasteful somehow. The squirrel's death was needless.

I picked up the dead animal gingerly by the tail.

I saw a vulture the other day.

It would probably find something worthwhile in the dead animal.


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

The boy charged at me blindly, only barely bothering to apply the taijutsu that they've been teaching us for the past year or two.

 _Children._

I stepped to the side, avoiding his attack with ease. At eight years old, I was a year younger than all of the children in my class.

I had quite a bit of time to consider what to do. On one hand, I could sweep his legs out from under him for a nice and easy end to the sparring session.

But that would cause him embarrassment to be taken out so handily.

That would make unnecessary enemies in the Academy. While I doubt a single humiliating spar would be enough to make him my 'enemy,' people have been hated for less.

If anyone tried to pull the whole 'bully' act on me, I'd probably react with calm indifference and try to avoid the issue. If it really came down to it, I could probably take anyone in my class in a fight. Hell, if I was stretching things a bit, I could probably take them _all_ in a fight. There were only a few other clan children in this class, and none of them took to training with the same intensity that I had.

There was no point though. I would rather make as few enemies as possible in the Academy. Fewer enemies meant fewer chances for me to appear strange, which meant that I would blend in more into the background.

Any sort of blending in would be great, because right now, I kind of stick out a bit.

I waited for the kid to turn around and face me. He pulled his fist back in a horribly telegraphed punch. I sidestepped it again.

Case in point.

I stood so far above these children that it was difficult to pretend that I was anything like them.

* * *

 _Bullseye_

I kunai had torn through one of the hind legs of a hare. The creature whined pitifully in pain.

A quick swipe of a kunai put a swift end to its suffering.

I picked up the dead animal and dropped it into a bag that I had carried with me.

After the squirrel incident, I had taken to going around and killing small woodland animals for practice. The wooden training boards were good and all, but I wanted practice hitting moving targets. I would still have to use the boards, as I hadn't even mastered hitting static targets yet, but getting some moving targets would only help.

The bag that I carried was full of animals that I had murdered for practice.

I slightly disgusted frown adorned my face. It didn't seem… right, somehow. Hunting all of these animals when there was really no need just made me feel dirty.

But really, is killing animals really all that different from killing people?

That was what I would be doing in the future. That was something that was taught to be service to the village. To kill is to serve. And to serve is to be good.

Disgusting.

The vultures would be happy with what I would bring them today.

* * *

I was moved up another year. My skills had proved superior enough to my peers that the school board figured that it would wise to shift me into the next year. At this rate, I would graduate in just another year.

I would be nine years old.

" _Wouldn't that be exciting? Right, Chisei-kun?"_

" _Oh, wow, Chisei-kun? You're graduating so early?"_

The Yamanaka had never been an extraordinarily combat-oriented clan. There had never been a Yamanaka 'prodigy.' Oh, of course there had been valued members of the village coming from the clan. But there had never been one like Itachi or Kakashi.

" _Really? That guy that's always sleeping is that good? Huh. Wasn't expecting that."_

" _I always knew you were a good kid, Chisei-kun," One of the guards ruffled my hair._

My graduation would be nothing as impressive at graduating at _five years old,_ like Kakashi. But it was one of the best in the clan.

" _Inoichi-sama came over the other day," My mother said softly, holding out a brand new set of kunai, "He brought this and said, 'Congratulations.'"_

 _Ino could barely contain her excitement, "You're so cool, aniki! You're becoming a ninja so soon? I've barely started in the Academy!"_

I was the pride of our clan.

What a shame.

* * *

I saw him today.

 _Itachi_

He was walking with little Sasuke, who smiled with innocent glee. Even in a casual setting, Itachi was deadly. At twelve years old, he was four years older than I was.

It wasn't fair.

I could see the power. Even when he was so young, I could _feel_ it. Every part of his body was built perfectly. I could feel the latent strength in his chakra, even with my still developing sensing skills.

 _It wasn't fair._

I spent that night pounding my fists into the training boards and throwing kunai and shuriken as quickly as I dared. The shards of metal struck the target boards near the centre.

 _Near_ the centre.

Not _at_ the centre.

I snarled. Itachi, at my age, had no doubt already mastered shurikenjutsu. Itachi wouldn't miss. _Itachi_ was a fucking prodigy. _Itachi, Itachi, fucking Itachi._

He was born with all the skill in the fucking _world._ He was a motherfucking _natural. He_ didn't have to train until the moon rose into the sky. _He_ didn't have to train until he passed out from exhaustion. _He_ didn't have to force himself away from the training fields so that he didn't burn out his entire body from his feverish desire to become stronger.

Not everyone was born equal. Not everyone was born with talent handed to them on a _fucking silver platter._

 _It wasn't fucking fair._

In the distance, I heard the screeching cry of a vulture.

* * *

 _Toad-sage66: Thanks for the suggestion of putting an age on the MC. I think it's definitely a good idea, as you mentioned, to give people a better idea of progression._


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this.

* * *

"Have a nice day, miss," I handed the bouquet of flowers carefully over to the woman standing on the other side of the counter.

"Oh, thank you," The woman smiled at me and turned to leave.

I struggled to suppress the twitching of my eye as I watched the flowers that I had painstakingly arranged twisted slightly out of their arrangement. It wouldn't make a difference really, but dammit lady, I spent like, twenty minutes getting those damn tulips just right.

Ah, whatever.

I checked the time and prepared to close the shop, realising that it was just about closing time. I counted up the profits from the day and hung up the 'Closed' sign.

The door to the shop opened with the ring of the door chimes and I walked towards the training fields, shielding my eyes from the light of the setting sun.

While I walked, I tried pulling a few senbon around on my skin using chakra. I figured that if I could master this sort of 'chakra pulling' I could draw weapons without even moving my hands, a skill that would no doubt become useful for surprising enemies.

I turned a corner, struggling to put my senbon back into my pouch using my chakra. Getting the senbon in and out of the weapons pouch was always the hardest part of the exercise.

After a few more minutes of trying to put the senbon back while walking, I gave up and just used my hands to put them back into the pouch. I would have the whole night to practise, and right now, my time would be better spent actually practising with the throwing of my weapons.

I drew a kunai from the pouch at my hip and prepared to throw it at the target on the far side of the clearing. At this distance, I could throw the kunai with an accuracy of one or two rings from the centre. It was well above Academy standards. The Academy only required students to have that sort of accuracy with a target only half the distance that I was practising at.

Before I made the throw, my eyes narrowed. I felt the barest flicker of chakra off to the side. I threw my kunai in the direction.

The shard of metal hit nothing but foliage.

I walked over to the side of the clearing to pick up the kunai. I reached out with my sensing skills to figure out if what I had felt was just imagined. I frowned as I picked up nothing.

Shaking my head, I bent down and picked up the kunai that I had thrown. I returned to the clearing to continue practising. The presence I felt must have been just my mind playing tricks on me. Maybe I was just tired. Perhaps I should return home earlier today and get some extra sleep.

Still, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I was being watched.

* * *

With great difficulty, I materialised the tiniest drop of water from my chakra. The lone droplet of water slowly slid down the finger that I conjured it from, dripping off of my wrist onto the sodden piece of chakra paper that was lying at my feet.

I smiled.

Water

It wasn't a raging waterfall or a water dragon or even anything capable of doing battle with, but it was something.

I sat down for a night full of water.

* * *

"Hajime!"

The instructor yelled for the two of us to start our spar. The boy who I was facing rushed into battle. This boy was about average for the year he was, and he was only slightly below my skill level.

I narrowed my eyes and began to think as we fought.

I had been fast-tracked and had skipped a year. I had been moved up a year previously, so I was two years younger than every other child in my new class. It absolutely was reasonable that they would be better than me.

But it was unacceptable.

But the word 'reasonable' does not imply the words 'sufficient' or 'acceptable' or 'competent' or 'strong.'

Or 'alive.'

I was weak and I would die.

Training would have to be taken more seriously. It would have to become more intensive. I would take my weakness and pulverise it.

I would grind it all to dust.

* * *

I laid in the clearing under the light of the thousands of gleaming stars

I closed my eyes and imagined that the soft moonlight that I had begun to adore was caressing and healing my aching muscles and my bleeding knuckles.

And then I got up, as though the dim glow of the night sky had revitalised me somehow.

In a way, it had.

* * *

"Chisei-nii! Chisei-nii! Wait!"

I turned around and watched as Ino ran towards me. I stood still and allowed her to embrace me.

"You haven't been around for so long! You never have time to play! Where have you been going? What's taking so much of your time? Come on, Chisei-nii!" Ino whined loudly to me.

I awkwardly placed my hands on her shoulders and tried to lightly push her away, hoping that she would take the hint.

She didn't, continuing to hug me.

Well, she probably had noticed that I didn't really want her around right now, but decided to hold on to me anyways.

I cleared my throat, "Ino, I can't play now. I'm off to do some… awesome… ninja training."

Ino looked up at me with wide, sparkling eyes.

"So… I, uh, need to head off to the training fields."

Ino gave me a coy smile, no doubt noticing my awkwardness.

"Alright, but you have to promise to play with me later!"

I smiled clumsily and delivered a hesitant promise. That seemed to satisfy her, and she scampered off back to her home in the Yamanaka clan compound.

I don't understand children.

* * *

I looked in the mirror and touched the black circles that had begun to reappear beneath my eyes. Before I had tried to limit the amount of time that I spent out in the training fields so that I would actually have energy when I woke up in the morning.

But with the advent of a nature transformation to practise with as well as the extra time that I had begun to dedicate to training my physical aspects had begun to eat into the time that I had previously allotted for sleep.

I tied my long auburn hair into the traditional Yamanaka ponytail and exited the bathroom.

I prepared a cup of tea.

And when I sipped it, I felt slightly more alive.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

 _Thirteen more days._

Only thirteen more days until the graduation exam.

Only thirteen more days until that headband would bring me life. Only thirteen more days until I gained a sensei. Only thirteen more days until the weakness would begin to truly be beaten out of me. Only thirteen more days.

My binds would be cut and I would be free. It was only a matter of time.

* * *

 _Twelve more days._

I punched the battered piece of wood that may have at one point been recognisable as a training post. It was hardly more than a cracked piece of wood at this point. I had been meaning to replace it for a while, but I never found the time.

 _Crick!_

But I suppose that very soon, I would have to.

 _Crick!_

Noticeable cracks began to run through the already splintered wood. This training session would likely be the last one for this particular training post. It had served me well, but it had taken too much of a beating.

 _Crick!_

It was odd. The new crack ran along the face of the training post in such a way that the cracks on the wood began to resemble a face somewhat. The mouth was a bit underdeveloped, and the left eye slightly misshapen, but it almost looked like the 'face' was set into a solemn expression.

 _Crick!_

WIth another punch, the cracks spread further.

The training post's 'mouth' turned upwards into a crooked smile.

I smiled back at it.

I raised my fist for another strike, my limbs somehow feeling both heavy and light at the same time. The blood that painted the post gleamed an almost silvery hue in the moonlight.

My heart beat faster and I had no idea why.

My eyes fluttered open and closed and I had no idea why.

My entire body shook.

I had never felt quite so enlightened and vacuous simultaneously.

In an explosion of bloody splinters and fractured dreams, my friend died. Was there a word for such a feeling of such concurrent remorse and euphoria? Was there a word for such a feeling of such synchronous intoxication and clarity?

Perhaps there was.

I believe the word that I was looking for was 'hope.'

* * *

 _Six more days._

"Are you Yamanaka Chisei?"

I cracked open an eye to look at the speaker, and, upon recognising them, quickly stood up and bowed.

"Ah, Akimichi-sama, I apologise. I didn't see you there."

Chouza just laughed boisterously and smiled at me, "No problem. I was just here to congratulate you on your graduation. It'll be in… six days? Right?"

I nodded, "Yes, Akimichi-sama."

"Incredible. Graduation at age nine. The best your clan's had since… Yamanaka _Inorei_? Damn. It's been a while since I've heard _that_ name… " Chouza frowned.

I tilted my head slightly at the unfamiliar name, I was about to ask who this 'Inorei' was, but Chouza's expression quickly soured. I closed my mouth as Chouza looked at me one last time.

"You know… you almost… " He frowned, trailing off and turning away, muttering while he walked. His previous good mood was dampened.

My brows furrowed as I watched him leave, my mind turned, reflecting back to the brief conversation that we had held.

"Hey! It's you!"

My train of thought was interrupted, and, after making a mental note to research this Inorei person, I turned to face whoever had called. It was that Akimichi boy again.

" _You're_ the guy that everyone's talking about?" He sounded incredulous.

 _Train. Stay alive. Do what you are told. Do what you are told until_ you _are the one telling_ others _what to do. That is the philosophy by which the strong live._

"Probably."

"But… _really?"_

I shrugged.

"I mean, I know you said all that stuff about training, and I know you said you train a lot, but… _really?_ Like, _really_ really _?"_

"Really really."

The boy squinted at me, likely in some attempt to figure out whether or not I was lying. After a moment, his face brightened.

"Cool! If you're so good, then you could help me with _my_ training!"

My eyes widened slightly in surprise, and it took me a moment to process that.

This child, this naive… _stupid_ little child, was asking _me_ to help _him?_ What, did he think that I had free time? Any time that wasn't spent performing basic survival functions like eating and sleeping was spent either out in the training fields or in the Yamanaka shop. Even ,in the _shop_ I continued training, performing little chakra exercises under the counter or reaching out with my sensing skills when there were fewer customers in the shop.

I spent the better part of every damn day working my body to exhaustion in this insane regime to gain power. Too many times to count, I had collapsed out on the fields. I would look up at the midnight sky and wonder, _was this really all worth it? Maybe it would be better just to die rather than torture myself any longer._ And then I would get back up and do it all again, over and over, for reasons that I barely even remembered anymore. And this boy, this _child_ had the gall, the _audacity_ to ask for me to cut into that time? To cut into my _survival?_

"Just a little bit," I grumbled out.

Me and my bleeding heart.

For fuck's sake.

* * *

 _Four more days._

I had allowed the Akimichi boy to sit in on one of my training sessions with shurikenjutsu. He was to sit and observe and _not make a single fucking noise because I had already agreed to have him here for some stupid fucking reason and I swear to God if he distracted me for even an instant-_

Ahem.

A kunai clumsily rolled out of my pouch as I reached out with my chakra to move it across my skin. I was getting better with it, and I was sure that with a few months' worth of extra practise, I'd be able to get it down pretty smoothly.

In a flash, the kunai embedded itself dead in the centre or the rightmost target.

 _Bullseye._

I drew two shuriken and those too found their way into the centres of the targets that I had aimed for. I reached for more, and I threw them as I got them.

 _Thunk!_

 _Thunk!_

 _Thunk!_

 _Thunk!_

At this distance, there was nothing to it.

Bullseyes all around.

There was a flicker of chakra off to the side and I turned to level a baleful stare at the Akimichi boy that was dicking around with his chakra or something stupid.

Or at least I would have, had he not been sitting on the side opposite from where I had felt the chakra signature.

I frowned. I had felt that chakra signature several times in the past. The first time I had felt it, I threw a kunai in the direction of the signature, but now I didn't think I could dismiss it as a coincidence.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on my sensing abilities.

And my frown grew deeper as even with my much improved sensing skills, I was still unable to pinpoint the signature in time. Whoever it was was already outside of my range.

"Aw, why'd you stop?"

 _Thunk!_

The Akimichi child yelped as a kunai buried itself into the tree that he was sitting against, right next to his ear.

" _I said no distractions."_

* * *

 _One more day._

I had finally dug up a record on 'Yamanaka Inorei.' The guy that Chouza mentioned briefly in the clan gathering a few days ago. The records in the Yamanaka library were surprisingly scarce for a guy who was supposedly one of the strongest members of the Yamanaka clan to have lived.

Even if Chouza seemed disturbed by the mere mention of his name.

I actually had to go the shinobi library in the village to get anything on him, there was hardly anything of substance I could find in the Yamanaka one. At least, in the sections that I had access to.

And I quickly realised why.

He was a few years older than Inoichi and had graduated from the Academy at age eight. The Academy teachers had lauded him extensively, and he had graduated at the top of his class.

Training under jounin Ogawa Hiroto, he made the chunin rank in two years, when he was just ten years old. He ran many successful missions with a few different teams, most notable of which being his contribution to the Battle of Mt. Ketsueki in the Land of Earth during the Third Shinobi World War. In that battle alone, he had ninety-four confirmed kills.

Nice, and impressive, but nothing that really _popped._ Ninety-four kills was great, especially when fighting against other shinobi, but this guy had nothing on Minato's _thousand_ kills.

But the next passage told me everything I needed to know.

Yamanaka Inorei suddenly betrayed both his clan and his village, with no known motive. He killed two Yamanaka clan members in a addition to twenty-three others, most of them civilian. He then fled the village. An A-Rank bounty was placed on his head, one that has yet to be claimed. It was possible that Inorei was still active, and if he was, he would be in his mid-forties.

Again, it was _nothing_ in comparison to Itachi's straight-up _genocide,_ but Inorei was the reason that the Yamanaka began only letting high-ranking members of the clan learn the clan jutsu, and even then, members would have to submit to a mindwalk.

Inorei had access to practically all of the clan jutsu. He could have used them to wreak havoc on the village, but the ninja chasing after him observed that he appeared to be more concerned with getting away than actually killing people. The people he killed were just in the way.

Still, it was a wake-up call for the Yamanaka clan. They strictly regulated the clan jutsu, only letting a few that were deemed 'safe' to be learned by the common members, while the dangerous ones were heavily guarded.

And Chouza had looked at me, and saw some kind of… similarity… between me and Inorei. There was something common to us both, and Chouza had been visibly troubled by it.

Perhaps we had had similar looks, or maybe our drive to become stronger was the same, or maybe it was simply that we both displayed an unusual amount of skill and intelligence for our age.

Or perhaps it was something else.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

 _The clock on the wall ticked by so slowly and I wanted to leave and I wanted to train and I wanted to become strong and I wanted to live and there was no time._

* * *

I held the forehead protector in my hands, staring at the leaf symbol that was emblazoned along its metal front. Tomorrow, team assignments would be announced.

The fruits of my labour were apparent now.

 _Train. Stay alive. Do what you are told. Do what you are told until_ you _are the one telling_ others _what to do. That is the philosophy by which the strong live._

I had trained. I was alive. I had done what I was told, more or less. I was well on my way to becoming strong. The fight for strength was not over yet, not even close, but there were visible results.

I looked back down at my headband. I pushed my hair out of the way and tied it around my head. I felt an odd sort of weight come onto my shoulders as I put it on.

I took a glance in the mirror, and studied my reflection.

My eyes rested on the metal that now adorned my forehead.

I could almost imagine a jagged slash running across that damned leaf.

* * *

"... and Yamanaka Chisei, unfortunately because of your early graduation, you will not be placed on a team."

 _My heart stopped in my chest. My sweat, my blood, my time, my life all came to a halt. No training means no strength. No strength means weakness. Weakness is a sickness. Sickness will kill me. So I will die._

 _I will die._

The teacher sighed, "However, a jounin has requested specifically for you, so you will be operating under them. You will be assigned teammates at a later date, at the next graduation.

 _What?_

I blinked, the tension that I had felt suddenly defused.

"And for what it's worth… "

 _Crash!_

"Come with me Chisei-kun, for together we shall stoke the ever burning flames of _youth!"_

The proctor looked at me with exhausted eyes, "... I'm sorry."

Oh my god.

"Yes! Let us praise the greatness of youth!

 _Oh_ my god.

The man in the green jumpsuit struck a pose and grinned at me, his glaringly bright grin forcing me to shield my eyes.

 _Oh my god._

The is the man that I will be spending the foreseeable future training with.

No other event in my life so far has been so simultaneously upsetting and amazing. Gai was an undoubtedly skilled taijutsu user, and would most certainly be a good teacher. But…

" _YOOOUUUUTH!"_

 _Oh my fucking god._

* * *

Sweat poured down my face as I climbed up the Hokage monument. A blur passed by me, and the glaring midday sun nearly blinded me as I looked up to try to get a better look at the blur.

"Yes! Faster! More _youth!"_

That blur was Gai-sensei.

Of course.

Of course Gai could run up and down the Hokage monument like it was nothing. Of _course_ he would shout about youth while he was at it.

 _Of course!_

 _My new sensei was fucking insane!_

My fingers found purchase on the lower lip of Tobirama's giant stone likeness, and I pulled myself up higher, the muscles in my arms shaking in exhaustion as I did. I judged the distance between my current position and the top of the Hokage rock. For all of the extra physical training that I had been doing, I would barely be able to complete the first task that Gai had set me to.

I suppose that was the difference between having an actual dedicated teacher, and trying to piece things together yourself.

Whatever. With Gai as a sensei, physical fitness would soon be a non-issue.

As soon as I could get up this goddamn monument.

The green blur ran _down_ the monument, blitzing past me in an instant. I could literally _feel_ the heat as the friction warmed Gai's body.

And the worst part?

With my sensing capabilities, I could figure out when somebody was using chakra or not, so imagine my horror when I discovered that Gai was only emitting the _barest traces_ of chakra, basically just leaking a normal chakra signature.

Which meant that he _wasn't_ using chakra to enhance his muscles.

Does not compute.

" _YOOOUUUUTH!"_

And Gai was running up the monument again.

Gritting my teeth, I swung myself onto Tobirama's nose. This all would have been easier had I been allowed to use chakra to just walk up the damn monument, but Gai had strictly forbidden the use of any chakra, saying that this exercise was a purely physical one.

I get where he was coming from, because my physical training was the weakest of all the categories of shinobi combat that I was familiar with, but still…

Tobirama's eyebrow felt rough beneath my fingers, and my feet scrambled to gain a foothold on the rock below.

After a few more minutes of struggling, I, panting and exhausted clambered onto the top of the monument, where Gai gleaming smile greeted me.

"Very youthful work out there, my new, cool and hip student!"

"Thanks… Gai… sensei." I managed to wheeze out an answer.

"But I'm afraid that the flames of youth wait for no one! We must go out and fan them ourselves! I shall stoke the youthfulness in both myself and you, my student! And if I cannot do that, I will run one-hundred laps around the village on my hands! And if I cannot do that-"

"Why did you choose me?" I asked suddenly.

Gai looked at me, breaking out of his youth-induced reverie.

"What do you mean, my student?"

"The teacher that was announcing the teams- he said that a jounin had requested specifically for me. Why did you ask? Why did you choose me?"

Gai looked at me for a moment, then grinned widely, "Oh my lovely, youthful student! I saw you in the forest training! Oh the utter passion burning inside you! To have that kind of drive! How truly youthful! I could not help but add to my own training regime after seeing such a passionate display of youth from one so young!"

Wait… Gai was the weird chakra signature I had felt in the forest? Gai had… he had _stealthed_ me?

That seemed rather… uncharacteristic.

"Oh how inspired I was! After seeing you training I immediately ran to the Hokage and requested you as an apprentice!"

Gai's smile then faded as he adopted a serious expression that almost looked out of place on his face.

"You would not have been satisfied with having the attention of a sensei focused on two others. Your dissatisfaction would have lead to bitterness, and it would be a shame to let such a bright flame of youthfulness die out."

Gai's expression was practically icy at this point. I had never seen this. I could only remember a tiny handful of times that the show had depicted Gai as serious.

"And burn out it would, because if you had continued down the path that you had started…"

Gai gave me a hard look.

"You would have killed yourself. You would have broken your own soul."

And then 'Serious Gai' vanished and was replaced once more with Gai's normal exuberance. He grinned and shouted about youth and how I would become 'most youthful ninja the village has seen since Hashirama-sama,' but 'Serious Gai' stuck with me.

 _You would have killed yourself._

* * *

"... and as a genin of the Yamanaka clan, you have been deemed responsible enough to handle the most basic of the Yamanaka clan jutsu. What I will teach you must be used responsibly and with great caution."

I nodded, "Hai, Inoichi-sama."

Inoichi's eyes scanned my face for a second before he continued, "Further specialisation in the clan jutsu will require you to acquire more skill and experience, and also pass a security check."

A mind rape then. I had heard this, even read about it in official records, but hearing it directly from the clan head was something else. The more advanced mind jutsu would be closed off to me forever.

 _Unless…_

I thought back to the day that I got my headband. That one idle thought that I had had while looking into the mirror.

 _I could almost imagine a jagged slash running across that damned leaf._

And I thought back to Yamanaka Inorei.

The vultures soared overhead, their distant, screeching cries filling the air with a faint, but deathly song.


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is purely for entertainment purposes, and I am making no profit off of this._

* * *

My eyes roved at the world under me, the air filling my wings as I sailed above on waves of wind. My vision was so acute, and no details passed unnoticed under my amber gaze.

I felt a strange detachment from the world. I was an observer, nothing more. Nothing could harm me, and I could harm no one.

I was so free.

It was so liberating, to be free of everything. To be free from the monochromatic life that I lived, to be free from the steadily building pressure, to be free from all the bloodshed and violence, to be free from Konoha.

It was exhilarating.

And then my mind was ripped away. My yin side, my spirit, it was ripped away from the excitingly free mind that I had found, and my soul rolled back into my own head.

I clumsily got to my feet and stared up at the vulture whose mind that I had just vacated.

I will name you Shisen, for you will become my perspective, my line of sight. The sense of calm and freedom that you carry with you will become mine, and your visual acuity will be mine to utilise.

Become mine, Shisen.

* * *

"Gai-sensei…"

Gai proudly held up the green jumpsuit, one exactly identical to the one he was wearing, just sized down. He grinned as he presented it to me.

"Well, go on. Try it on!

"Gai-sensei…"

"What is it, my most youthful student?"

"... no."

Gai looked confused, as if wondering why someone _wouldn't_ want to put on that monstrosity.

"Gai-sensei, please explain to me… _why,_ exactly, the jumpsuit is required?"

"The suit is a most youthful garment! My, most youthful student, there are many things you have yet to learn! Allow me to educate you... "

I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.

* * *

In the end, I _did_ try on the suit.

Though I would never admit it to anyone, the suit actually was very comfortable. The colour of the suit also made it not bad for camouflage, so it was actually pretty practical.

Still not wearing it.

* * *

Life fell into a steady rhythm with Gai.

Wake up. Tolerate Gai's screaming about youth. Train furiously. Collapse into bed. Cram eating, showering, and other essential facets of life between all of that and then collapse into bed at the end of the day, exhausted. Repeat.

I was too exhausted at the end of my training with Gai to do any extra training during the night, so I just blearily brushed my teeth and then went straight to bed when I got home from the fields.

Which might have actually been Gai's plan from the beginning. For all the man's eccentricities, I had learned that he generally had a reason for the things he did.

For example, as I had learned just a week or two ago, the jumpsuit was both comfortable and made for passable camouflage in the forests of Konoha.

So him training me to exhaustion, thus depriving me of the time I usually used to train late into the night, was probably a purposeful decision. I had noticed that, with actual nights of sleep, my productivity was improving actually.

The only problem was that with Gai's near-exclusive focus on taijutsu and sometimes bukijutsu, and the now lack of time to work late in the night, I've been pretty much deprived of time to work on my ninjutsu, particularly the elemental transformation that I was working on.

Except that I wasn't. I was given a single day off a week, and thanks to Gai's insane training regime, my physical strength, my speed, and my skill with weapons was all taken care of. That meant that instead of dedicating most of that time to physical training like I would have before, I could have the time all on figuring out my water elemental nature. Gai still gave me pointers when he could, but he wasn't exactly the most well-versed shinobi when it came to ninjutsu.

But with all of these things working together, the rate of my progress had shot through the roof.

Gai had likely organised all of this beforehand. Knowing that his skill with ninjutsu was rather subpar, he had organised my training schedule in such a way that maximised my efficiency, both giving me the physical training that I desperately needed and giving me time to work out my elemental stuff on my own.

Within only a few weeks of having Gai as a sensei, I could already comfortably do three laps around the village. My current record for climbing up and down the Hokage Rock, with no Tree-Walking, was six times.

And because I was actually sleeping now, I actually had energy during the day, which meant that it was actually surprisingly difficult to nap whenever I wanted anymore.

I actually had energy now.

* * *

 _A/N: Just a short thing. I'll be on vacation for the next few weeks and I'll have no time to write, so I just felt like getting something out there before I left._

 _MrTicklesMMM: If my understanding is correct, the regular mind transfer only allows the user to take over the target's body, not look through their minds. They'll experience everything as though they were actually that person, but they can't look through their memories. The Psycho Mind Transmission is the one that lets the Yamanaka rifle through memories and, at least in this story, those sorts of jutsu are held under strict security, i.e. being mindwalked._


End file.
